In a thrillingly decisive - albeit genre-fueled - reenactment of post-male gaze-ism, Femina magazine parodies the insistent demands of the neo-PoMo reconstructivist tendency by engaging in a re-catharsis of female self-awareness and self-imagery that decisively - Bzzzzt, repetition, "decisive."
Thanks to Erica!
71 comments:
That mouth terrifies me. She looks like she's about to eat whoever is reading the magazine.
Obviously the directing job didn't work out for Terry Gilliam, and he's moved back to graphic design. I recognise that cut-up technique anywhere.
eyes, nose, and mouth are in the wrong perspective...well, at least the nose is...
Reminds me of the invisalign ad from 10/21... wow...
Wouldn't put mine in that piranha.. 8-B
That's just monstrous. Making the mouth so huge is one thing, but it's moved so far to the left that it makes the whole thing look like one of those elementary school craft projects where you tear out different facial features and paste them together to make a face.
It's not a disaster. It's from the same people who gave us this.
"Don't do it Sue! Don't rip your own head off! You might need it later!!"
I don't get it.
Waldoby, that is hilarious.
Nice teeth. All 52 of them.
This is what "Jennifer's Body" is based upon.
Jaw
Oh my god, i love this blog.
With those forearms thinned down like that, I can barely tell that the arms come from a man!
most of you people are missing the disaster, the whole face is added to the head, the eyes, nose mouth and bone structure are facing camera right, the head is facing camera left.
Don't worry, she's just wearing her Halloween mask. She's obviously put it on a little crooked, but it still seems to have its water droplet-repelling powers. If you pull back on that abnormal forehead, it and its scary features will peel right off.
WV: ullycan
You ullycan not tell that this was altered at all! Right?
Rocky Horror Picture just called... they want their mouth back.
hilarious
why does something like this get published?
@Julia
... cause it's captivating... like a car wreck! Gross, macabre... but you just can't turn away.
What a heck of a job, eh... Maybe they did this because here true teeth were even worse than the final work. Anyway, something tells me that there is an ex-art director looking for a new job somewhere in France.
The face is scary but the arms and neck! FEMINA couldn't find a female body to go with the female head?
The more you look at it, the weirder it looks. God, those arms ... really?
BTW, I love this blog. Always makes me laugh out loud!
Couldn't stop laughing at this one.
Adam's apple. Body and neck skin is a very different texture than face.
wow thats funny
I dont understand why they keep using photoshop to make people look like this
and good point, David, I really like those sharks, there is a famous happy pig in the same way too (ah, and frogs too!)
Apparently, the Joker had a sex change.
Say, "Cheeeeeeeeeeeese!"
@ Dr. Grossman:
Adam's Apple! Exactly. Woman aren't supposed to have those.
I always have man arms, man shoulders and man neck when popping out of the swimming pool with a huge, lopsided grin on my plastic face. Don't you?
This is no disaster: the cover photo is simply illustrating one of the headlines, "Test Your Man's True Nature". It's just that his true nature is a tranny Julia Roberts impersonator who has his face on the side of his head.
So picky!
wow she is smoking hot! Cyrus Jeffries
Scotty Cameron Putter
No, it was "decisive" and "decisively", two different words. Stephen Fry, an incorrect challenge, you gain another point and keep the subject. You have 51 seconds remaining to tell us about "Photoshop Disasters" starting now.
Kinda makes Michael Jackson look normal.
My first thought was, "back away slowly, and don't show it your fear..."
EtG
WV: fugbe (mistyped fugly, which is aptly appropriate for this picture)
whew, that is just friggin creepy!
Wow! A "Just A Minute" reference! Very nice!
I love how it says "relax" on the magazine in big letters when in truth, looking at that cover is everything but relaxing...
I'm absolutely horrified here. It reminds me of the classic "Jaws" scene when the shark first makes its full appearance to the audience by emerging from the water in an effort to grab someone off the boat. Yikes... not good, not good...
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA :D
My girlfriend could ... well no, but she could do my girlfriend and me at the same time. I think I'll pass though.
Apart from the obvious facial stuff, if you block off the lower half, it just looks like those arms are growths coming out the back of her head.
Aliens 5: The Enemy Within
Can't sleep... model will eat me...
Something else I didn't see specifically mentioned by anyone: the neck seems unnaturally long and the teeth don't even line up with the nose, the center of the nose doesn't line up with the center of the teeth, it's about half a tooth offset.
In many cases, the artist will try to get the subjects eyes to follow a person around the painting, as they move around to discern various point-of-view effects.
In this case, the artist wanted the subjects TEETH to follow people, and ended up creating some sort of alien being that can actually leap out of the picture and bite your hands as you reach in to grab the magazine.
Simply Hannibal Lector in a skin mask getting in on some Jaws action by devouring unwary swimmers.
Picasso would be so proud...
Somewhere in the world... there is a model... profusely denying that she ever did a cover for Femina
So *that's* what the Mouth of Sauron looks like without his big hat thingie.
scary face, double-length neck. mutant!
Avatar!
The Purpose of this Obnoxious Aberration is to obey the silly Rule of 2 thirds I think.
Can you say police e-fit?
I'm waiting for her to start talking like a Conan O'Brien bit.
that... smile(?)... made my fight-or-flight instinct kick in. Only, instead of successfully fleeing a fierce predator, I managed only to roll too fast in my desk chair and nearly tip over. Oh, evolution, why have you failed me now?
michael medina said...
"...the whole face is added to the head, the eyes, nose mouth and bone structure are facing camera right, the head is facing camera left."
Plus, the face is too big for the head.
This is one of the few disasters that made me laugh out loud - along with David's and Waldobaby's comments. Amazing!
okey blog j vj.
Loving the "Just a Minute" reference!
WOW! Lay off the roids there too, man shoulders!
@L. Sheperd - "whole thing looks like one of those elementary school craft projects where you tear out different facial features and paste them together to make a face." That's totally what it looks like!!!
"Relax !" indeed. I might even be so bold as to add "Don't do it.".
If you're going to make such a foul job of it, wouldn't it be simpler and less time-consuming to just refrain from shopping it ?
All right. You cold cruel stiffs have made me abandon her as my dream woman and go back to the one I was born to meet.
I don't recognize the model, but I'm guessing Julia Roberts' mouth filled with Miley Cyrus' teeth.
And maybe a little bit of Clutch Cargo thrown in there, too!
http://www.animationarchive.org/2006/04/biography-dick-brown-retrospective.html
PoCoLoco said...
" Somewhere in the world... there is a model... profusely denying that she ever did a cover for Femina"
denying that *he* ever did a cover...
Only Joker can do that...
Imagine if that popped up beside you at the swimming baths.
RE Jonny Dade:
OMG, heart attack guaranteed! LOL :-D
This is the CG for James Cameron's upcoming movie, "Navatar": Humanoid modified with Na'vi genes. Or it can be Jake's daughter.
OHHH ...god It is just amazing!I just read all comments than I got idea that what behind this face!!Marvelous.!
acekards
They don't seem to have gotten a real model to pose for them so they made some copypasta of random peoples' faces.
OH MY GOD.
THAT MOUTH.
SHE GONNA EAT ME!! @_@
RUUUUN!!
wow, not one natural line in the face, those youthful, expressive ones that even a child possesses.
perhaps this could be dental botox?
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