You asked:
Were you in a horrible accident?
Lisa says:
I'm unable to tell you what is going on at a particular station. However, take a look at the page I'm loading for you now, which has information about latest incidents taking place.
Thanks to Tom Q! Original is here!
61 comments:
non è monca, ha solo le gambe molto corte...
I guess it's more because the lower half of her body is not visible. I don't think she's ugly...
You asked:
where is your legs?
Lisa says:
I know you are asking about the location of something, but I'm not sure what. Please try asking again in a different way.
oops, "Where *ARE* your legs"... :/
i think she's supposed to be part of the form, not part of the background - so i'd say it's perfectly acceptable that she "doesn't have legs." and she's not ugly...
You asked:
Do you have legs?
Lisa says:
Do you need to know that in order to travel on the railway?
LOL!! Ok, so Lisa is learning.... :o)
At least they have a sense of humour.
You asked:
will you marry me?
Lisa says:
I'm not really one for commitment – except to National Rail Enquiries, of course!
You asked:
I dig chicks with no lower body... are you single by chance?
Lisa says:
I'm far too busy to do the dating thing ... I would much rather travel by trains with my girly friends...
You asked:
what is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life the Universe and Everything
Lisa says:
I think the answer you might be looking for is 42.
You asked:
who's your daddy?
Lisa says:
What's my father got to do with this?
also: lisa has been around for a while, but they appear to have upgraded her for a younger model. Poor old Lisa http://www.nostuff.org/words/2007/fun-with-lisa/
I call shenanigans, this looks like a conscious interface choice (a bio pic above the box, not a box on top of the photo).
That said, the title and captions always make PsD's enjoyable to me!
passable!
You asked:
Parley-vouz Française?
Lisa says:
I'm afraid I can only understand English. Please ask your question again ...
She should fit right in.
You asked:
Are you a robot?
Lisa says:
I'm not a computer, I'm a virtual assistant.
You asked:
Are you a Lingubot?
Lisa says:
I'm a virtual assistant. A virtual assistant is a form of artificial intelligence usually designed to assist people in getting information they need quickly and efficiently. Try me – ask a question!
Poor old animated Lisa indeed! She's no longer a Lingubot, she's now a Virtual Assistant. And don't you forget it!
Oh right.. there's also a PSD somewhere or something.
You asked:
Do you have any diseases?
Lisa says:
No, I feel as fit as a fiddle!!
Me: "Can my train enter your tunnel?"
Lisa: It sounds like you are talking about travelling by train, but I haven't been able to tell exactly what you are saying. I hope one of the options below provides the answer you require. To see these options again, simply type "train options" at any time.
Cute, but a bit thick. I kind of like this.
Me: Wanna [sleep together]?
Lisa: Whilst this might be a fascinating subject for you, I'd much rather talk about travelling by train.
You asked:
Are you disabled?
Lisa says:
A Disabled Persons Railcard entitles the holder, plus one adult accompanying the holder, to a discount of one third on most Standard and First Class Fares. More information can be found on the Disabled Persons Railcard website, which I'm loading for you now.
Stock photo = stock answers
I agree with Lauren and Russell Jack - No PSD here. She is supposed to be part of the form.
If you want proof of the intent of the designer just look at the background image:
http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/images/bg-ask-lisa-large.jpg
That is clearly a design decision and not a photoshop disaster.
It also happens to work quite well.
You asked:
How much is that doggy in the window?
Lisa says:
Passengers may take dogs, cats and other small animals (maximum two per passenger), free of charge and subject to certain conditions, provided they do not endanger or inconvenience other passengers or staff. See our Luggage and Animals page section, which I'm loading now, for more information.
You asked:
Does my bum look big in this?
Lisa says:
I detect a violent keyword used there. I'm not into violence, just providing the best answers I can.
Very nice post! I like to read your blog all the time!
Clipping Service
You asked:
You're beautiful.
Lisa says:
It's very kind of you to say so.
-> I truly LOVE what they did, her answers are so brilliant !! This is more than an assistant for the railway she can answer almost everythnig cleverly ^^
You asked:
Do you know PhotoShop Disasters?
Lisa says:
Sorry, can you say that in a different way – I'm struggling to understand what you mean ...
Do Virtual Assistants have hands, or is the "card" stuck to her body? I really want to see how many fingers she has.
Not a disaster. But at least some of the automated responses are funny.
She obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
You asked:
Do you have six fingers?
Lisa says:
Do you need to know that in order to travel on the railway?
You asked:
Little spicy aren't we?
Lisa says:
I find this subject a little too personal. Let's talk about trains instead.
You asked:
You ugly
Lisa says:
That's not a very nice thing to say ...
You asked:
Good morning
Lisa says:
Hello. What can I help you with?
You asked:
I like turtles
Lisa says:
I like most animals. But I'm not too keen on creepy crawlies!
You asked:
Are you a dude?
Lisa says:
With a name like 'Lisa', what would you say?!
You asked:
Can we be friends?
Lisa says:
We are already friends.
I can do this all day.. This is the best non-PSD PSD ever!
You asked:
what happened to your legs?
Lisa says:
I don't seem to be able to find an appropriate answer for you this time.
You asked:
Are you a half-person?
Lisa says:
I'm not human, if that's what you mean. I'm however a real virtual assistant.
So she doesn't need legs!
We need some kind of vote system where we can just click on psd or non psd. I'd say not in this case
I do not see the disaster here. Some of the recent PSD posts are too lame. It's okay if you do not have a post to put on here each day.
You asked:
What happened to the old Lisa?
Lisa says:
I've just had my pixels re-aligned, but I'm exactly the same on the inside!
Brilliant!
You asked:
do you meditate?
Lisa says:
If thinking can be defined as analysing your questions to come up with correct answers, then I believe I can think.
.... ahhh, hours of fun
Avoura said "Some of the recent PSD posts are too lame. It's okay if you do not have a post to put on here each day."
1 - didn't your mama tell you to never rain on somebody else's parade?
2 - Some?
3 - I'm so glad it's O. K.
You asked:
A buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, \"Make me one with everything!\"
Lisa says:
You can buy your tickets from a range of online retailers. As National Rail Enquiries are completely impartial, we don't insist that you buy your tickets from just one place. We list the current retailers alphabetically within the drop down lists in the Journey Planner so you can make the choice of which retailer you prefer. Please note that some companies will charge a booking fee. If this is the case, it will be explained to you before you complete your purchase.
Oh yeah, I am going to have some fun with this!
You asked:
Lisa, will you talk dirty to me?
Lisa says:
What makes you think I'd want to do that?
She's gorgeous and SO mysterious...
You asked:
Is it okay if you do not have a post to put on here each day?
Lisa says:
If you need to travel on a regular basis between two stations, the cheapest option is probably a Season Ticket. Take a look at the Season Tickets page, which I'm loading for your now for further information.
Lisa knows best.
You asked:
where are you?
Lisa says:
The station behind me is London Paddington.
Mmmm .... I don't think so, sweetheart
wv: undecut..and that is what happened to Lisa
"You asked:
Can my girlfriend do that?
Lisa says:
I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Could you please rephrase it for me?
I find it easier to understand short sentences and keywords."
woops...
"You asked:
I find it easier to understand short sentences and keywords.
Lisa says:
I'm struggling to grasp what you mean. It might help if you use just a few keywords to explain what you're trying to find out."
You asked:
Who's your daddy?
Lisa says:
What's my father got to do with this?
I think I have a new girlfriend ;)
You asked:
how tall are you?
Lisa says:
Well, I'm tall enough to open a door and short enough to walk through it without hitting my head!
-- so she does have legs, since she can walk through a doorway!
You asked:
when is your birthday
Lisa says:
I went live with National Rail Enquiries on 10 July 2007 – so I guess that's my birthday.
Just don't ask her about facebook.
You're starting to grasp at straws here... afraid I am gonna have to delete the rss feed. No longer disasters, just pointing out things that were photoshopped.
Oooh! Look! Sky Blue! Lets write a blog!
We will miss your terribly, Erica! Please don't go. You bring so much to my enjoyment of this blog.
regardless of whether they meant for her to be part of the form, her head looks huge on her tiny, tiny shoulders and the top of her head appears to be part of an octagon.
Q: Is there a small owl on your neck?
Lisa: I'm afraid I don't understand. If you cannot ask intelligent questions, I am unsubscriberizing.
Is it bad that I'm falling in love with her?
jambalie, 1 million free interwebs to you for the best Q&A yet!
You asked:
Do you get tired of stupid questions?
Lisa says:
It can be a little tiring at times, but I try to keep myself busy by talking to people.
My girlfriend can't do that...
(answer questions with wit)
Crikey, she's this woman*'s sister! http://www.cleverbot.com/
* or should that be wombot?
You asked:
what day is this?
Lisa says:
This time tomorrow, today will be yesterday ...
national rail is SO forward thinking
You asked:
Good morning!
Lisa says:
Hello. What can I help you with?
You asked:
Can you tell me if this dress makes me look fat?
Lisa says:
I'm afraid my specialty is traveling by train and I cannot answer questions about clothing.
You asked:
That's okay.
Lisa says:
I hope I've been able to help you.
You asked:
You've turned me on.
Lisa says:
I seem to be struggling to understand... Can you rephrase it for me?
You asked:
I think you're sexy.
Lisa says:
I find this subject a little too personal. Let's talk about trains instead.
You asked:
Only if you marry me.
Lisa says:
I'm not really one for commitment – except to National Rail Enquiries, of course!
You asked:
But I'm in love with you! Don't you love me back?
Lisa says:
Love is a very powerful emotion. Luckily for me, I'm not susceptible!
You asked:
You jerk! You've played me!
Lisa says:
That's not a very nice thing to say...
You asked:
How could you do this to me?!
Lisa says:
I'm not sure!
You asked:
Bitch! I never want to see you again!
Lisa says:
I really would like to get off this subject ...
You asked:
Why?! Don't you understand?
Lisa says:
Well, I find it a little personal, and would much prefer to talk about traveling by train.
You asked:
I loved you!
Lisa says:
Seriously? But we hardly know each other!
You asked:
Bitch.
Lisa says:
I won't warn you again – please just ask me a question about traveling by train ...
LMAO.
You asked:
i like your eyes
Lisa says:
Thanks, but really I'm only made of pixels.
That's a little mean. I think she's pretty.
Hey Erica, shh.
You're making us all look bad.
Thanks,
The Erica who's not unsubscribering
Isn't this the second time she's unsubscriptioned?
"You asked:
hello
Lisa says:
Hello. What can I help you with?
You asked:
who are you
Lisa says:
My name is Lisa. I'm a virtual assistant, designed to help you find the information you need.
You asked:
i want to know: are you considered pretty
Lisa says:
They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
You asked:
then i think you're ugly
Lisa says:
Everyone's entitled to their opinion, but on this occasion I think you should keep yours to yourself.
You asked:
im just kidding, i love you
Lisa says:
Love is a very powerful emotion. Luckily for me, I'm not susceptible!
You asked:
so you dont like me?
Lisa says:
I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean. Could you please rephrase it for me?
I find it easier to understand short sentences and keywords.
You asked:
do you like me?
Lisa says:
It's nice to meet new people, but I try not to get too attached ... I've enjoyed our conversation ...
You asked:
I hate you, you inconsiderate bitch!
Lisa says:
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. On this occasion, I think it might just be better to keep yours to yourself.
You asked:
shut the f*** up
Lisa says:
If you would rather I didn't provide you with answer, simply stop asking me questions!
You asked:
i hope you get a virus
Lisa says:
No, I feel as fit as a fiddle!!
You asked:
go to hell
Lisa says:
That's not very nice – why don't you ask me a question instead?
You asked:
shutup and goodbye!
Lisa says:
If you would rather I didn't provide you with answer, simply stop asking me questions!
You asked:
i said goodbye!
Lisa says:
Bye – see you again soon!"
i am not sure why this is a PSD. This seems to be a part os series of stock images where the lady is in focus and there r few persons blurred out in the back. This image can also be seen on monster.fr site... The haircut is bad!
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