41 Comments

Vogue: Forewarned is Forearmed

Posted on 14 December by Vernon
Forewarned is Forearmed

We may have found the limits of good taste. I give you… Elizabethan Goth.

Thanks Cathryn. You can see the original here.

Reader Captions:

It’s good to see that they’re making fashion for zombies these days. We wouldn’t want to discriminate (or fail to exploit a potential market) during the Zombie Apocalypse. by JStass

Living models are too expensive these days, so they’ve decided to hire a dead one. Can’t blame them, she won’t demand a paycheck and can do all those fun stuff with her pelvis that only my deceased girlfriend can do.

So no PsD to see here! by Gabriela

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  • MrRocking

    She was the bomb in Legion!

  • Eanstl

    Eeew! The left one looks like a bum they picket up somewhere.

  • Whiny_Little_Snot

    Emaciation augmented with plastic pouches of boobwater and a dash of black grease pencil on the teeth. It must hurt to stand up straight.

    One awkward looking fool. Is this somehow designed to sell clothing to humans who are going to wear it?

    • Yeay

      No pencil on those teeth! They’re actually like that for real (girl’s name is Ashley Smith).
      Also, she is known for her very huge boobs, so yeah, the proportion weirdness probably just comes from that.
      Her thigh is odd-looking though.

      • MiaMia

        Are you serious? Look at her waist, not only at the boobs! This waist is definitely too skinny for these boobs!
        This poor girl obviously is in pain because she’s constantly trying to not tilt forward?!

  • http://twitter.com/MoBurkhardt MoBurkhardt

    what is the disaster? is it her impossibly small waist? her strangely low hips? Or her extended right forearm?

    Or simply the fact that the image on the left is not very pleasing to look at?

  • http://twitter.com/otowilches otowilches

    You’re all so lame trying to be funny.

  • ewaffle

    I am missing the PsD–it looks like many of the editorial photo spreads in Russian Vogue which is as pretentious a magazine as exists anywhere. It makes Carine Roitfeld’s French Vogue look like The Edinburgh Review.

    This is certainly a disaster but (I weep for humanity) it is a deliberate disaster–i.e. if you don’t get it you are one of the people that Russian Vogue isn’t interested in, which includes 99.99% of the population and 100% of those who can see.

    • davidikus

      I normally rather like Carine Roitfeld’s Vogue and, to a much lesser extent, Russian Vogue has produced interesting and challenging editorials. Pity about the PSD: the Givenchy dress is very good!

      http://davidikus.blogspot.com/

      • Cat

        I’m afraid the styling on the Armani Privé is just obscene. The Valentino birdcage and opera gloves, however, are FABULOUS.

        • davidikus

          Selecting a dress like that Armani privé dress is obscene. A 90 year old would not be seen dead in it. The styling is just making fun of it. Sarcasm, I guess. My favourites are the Worth dresses!

          The enormous problem of the series is that the model is quite the minger. But models increasingly look like monsters from outer space nowadays.

    • armadillo_in_furs

      well put

      it might be in bad taste, but no disaster here

  • Patochiba

    As she might be already dead, she wouldn’t cry when they cutted her legs ans her ass from the rest of her body !

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anellia-Stefcheva/1459105162 Anellia Stefcheva

    That’s way over the limits imo.

  • http://teerwayde.blogspot.com/ Teer Wayde

    This is not a PSD its just a odd editorial, have you not seen a European fashion model before? Obviously not.

  • Sarcastic Kebab Reaper

    Wow. The waist is already strange, but the girl on the right must be saving a crapload of money on shoes, for every 4 steps I make she makes only one.
    Also, I never thought a shot of a woman’s thigh in a fashion magazine could make me NOT want to look.

  • Tyler Durden

    Those of you playing along at home can now cross ‘giraffic-design’ off of your game cards.

    • armadillo_in_furs

      Give them some credit! Given that ruff she’s wearing, they didn’t want to be too obvious with yet another “baroque” reference

  • Lisette Andersson

    Hej!
    Jag kontaktar dig för att jag finner din blogg mycket intressant och välorganiserad. Jag skulle väldigt gärna vilja komma i kontakt med dig angående ett eventuellt samarbete! Hör gärna av dig via mail så kan vi prata vidare.
    Med vänliga hälsningar,
    Lisette

  • Vitch

    This site is now just for displaying oneupmanship. The ‘I can see something in this photo you cant’ attitude.

    • armadillo_in_furs

      If you look closely at the wallpaper behind her, you’ll see a very very small giraffe (ref: post tag)

    • Bob

      one the left pic, follow her right leg to her ass and match that to the position of the rest of her body. My girlfriend could do that after I put her on the rack and hyper-extended and dislocated her spine.

      Then there are those hands that badly need photoshopping.

  • Simon

    I can’t see any PSD. Can someone in charge please tell me what’s going on? What am I looking for?

    • http://DeadAmericanDream.blogspot.com AngryBroomstick

      the 1st photo (where the model looks dead), her behind leg looks weirdly shaped. Maybe it;s just me…

    • Belladonna

      The girl on the left is missing her thigh.

  • http://www.facebook.com/gabi.garcez Gabriela Garcez

    Living models are too expensive these days, so they’ve decided to hire a dead one. Can’t blame them, she won’t demand a paycheck and can do all those fun stuff with her pelvis that only my deceased girlfriend can do.

    So no PsD to see here!

    • Cat

      I agree with Gabriela. It’s a good thing they hired a dead model; no living woman could do that with her hips.

      Lovely model, not so lovely photoshopping.

  • Jackrabbit

    Actually, that whole spread might yield a few more gems. Check out the hip displasia in photo #7…

  • Jackrabbit

    Or the head pasted onto the top of a birdcage in #4, for that matter.

  • Waldobaby

    If the “average” female has a height of 7.5 heads, and this micro-cephalic jawless very long necked darling has a height of 8.5 heads, is that still “normal”?

    • armadillo_in_furs

      I applaud your ironic use of quotation marks. This editorial clearly challenges the notion of normalcy a la Foucault. Well spotted!

      • Waldobaby

        No No No! No irony. I know no normal nor average females, that is all. And I agree with you that Michel Foucault, being French, was a fraud.

  • Korscha
  • JStass

    It’s good to see that they’re making fashion for zombies these days. We wouldn’t want to discriminate (or fail to exploit a potential market) during the Zombie Apocalypse.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_5A22OJ3VYJGAM7TT4IP62CUEMU melissa

    OK first of all, why would anyone ever PAY to put that in a magazine? What could it possibly encourage people to buy – other than a shotgun to help ward off the impending zombie apocalypse?

    And second, the girl on the left has the longest ankles I have ever seen!

  • http://twitter.com/AndrewWerling Andrew Werling

    Gothic fail.

  • Gothchiq

    GROSS. If that’s gothic, I’m a peanut butter sandwich.

    • armadillo_in_furs

      are you crunchy?

      • Gothchiq

        Only sometimes.

  • Miss Silver

    I get that they’re trying to be ‘different’ with the gapped tooth and the open mouthed pose, but every freaking picture? Seriously? And the expression on the model’s face is just unflattering. Who the fuck is the artistic director? What the hell have you been smoking? Seriously, once with this outrageous face is more than enough. And please stop trying too hard to make the models look ‘ugly pretty,’ it’s insulting. There is nothing aesthetically pleasing about gapped toothed skinny bitches showing off their new gap that they got to further their modelling career. It’s kitsch, it’s tacky, and just plain gauche.

    Bad enough the modeling and the artistic direction sucks, throw in a fucked up looking hip, and voila, disaster city, here we come!

  • Braaaiinnss

    Oh no, it’s incredibly gothic… oh, wait… she’s NOT meant to look like a disjointed zombie?… oh…