Susan Elizabeth: Retractable Fingers

short fingers

It looks great, yeah great. You know, one little thing. No big deal. But if you could make the top of her fingers smaller? Just the top part? So it doesn’t look strange. Yeah, no, I know, but you know what, no one cares about the top of her fingers. Just make them smaller. Yes, I know. Just make it smaller. Just do it. I’m just going to go ahead and make that an order. If you could do that, that would be great.

Thanks Sophie! You can see the original here. If you can’t see the PSD or would like to see the image before the edits, please check out our red image gallery to see a marked up version of the image. 

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  • MrRocking

    The rejuvenating cream has worked too well. She has the hands of a small child!

  • kleenex

    That is not a bad PSD, just some very bad hand reconstructive surgery. She needs to sue the physician right away.

  • Sergey Zakatov

    It looks like they stole that hand off a wax statue that’s a size too small for the body.

  • markduane

    It must be the follow up of her book, What I Did For Love. Apparently, quite a desperate thing.

  • Bob

    Fire the photographer who took the original before you touch the poor guy who had to try to defreak it. Could that hand look worse?

    • Warren

      I was thinking something similar. The unretouched shot was very, very poor, at least around her hand. It looks like some kind of spade-foot toad mutation.

      • Che

        I think you’ll find that the reason it looks like a foot is because it *is* a foot. That’s not a real unretouched shot, it’s a ‘retouched-retouched-to-look-like-an-unretouched’ shot.

  • grape

    Nice RIPOFF of an old Cosmo caption:

    “It looks great, yeah great. You know, one little thing. No big deal. But if you could make the top of her head smaller? Just the top part? So it isn’t hiding the banner. Yeah, no, I know, but you know what, no one cares about the top of her head. Just make it smaller. Yes, I know. Just make it smaller. Just do it. I’m just going to go ahead and make that an order. If you could do that, that would be great.

    Oh, and if you could make her shoulder disappear, that would also be great.”

    • Anonymous

      Chill out on the criticism. Could you run this website? No? Then shut up.

      • Tyler

        Sure thing, ‘anonymous’…

        • Commie

          Whereas you _real_ name is ‘Tyler’. Just ‘Tyler’.

          • Tyler

            You seem to have missed what I was implying.

      • Gabriela Garcez

        Honestly, doesn’t seem that difficult. There are people sending him the PSDs and he won’t even bother to write some witty captions, which is not that hard, lot of the commenters here would do such a better job at it. Yet, Vernom can’t pull it off.

        I know, sometimes I hate on this site for no apparent reason other then just being a bitch, but this time I mean it.

        • Vernon

          PSD wouldn’t be the same without you hating on us. There are people who send us images but the vast majority aren’t good enough for the site. BTW have you been sending in images :)

          • Gabriela Garcez

            Yaaayyy finally you noticed me! Yes, I sent you one. Apparently it wasn’t good enough for you. :(

          • Vernon

            I actually read every comment.

          • Whysoserious

            *cough*attention whore*cough*.

        • yo momma

          Chill, honey.

        • Evenmoreobvious

          Then go and make your own oh-so-much-better site, if you think it’s so easy, Miss Nag-nag.

    • Vernon

      Yes we do this. Cosmo actually did it a bunch as well. We primarily do it because we don’t have tons of money to write unique captions and because some of the older captions were very good.

      • Tyler

        It costs money to write a caption?!

        • Vernon

          It costs money to have someone go through the 100+ emails that we get a day and then we pass off the best of what we get to a writer who writes the caption, uploads image, marks up the problem. Then we sit back and listen to the complaining :)

          • Tyler

            Well if you’re paying someone and the best they can do is copy an old post but change the word “head” to “fingers”, maybe you should consider a free alternative. You might get your moneys worth.

            And if these are the best out of over a hundred daily submissions, maybe it’s time to consider that the concept of a photoshop disasters website has run its course.

          • Stan

            And yet, Tyler… here you are…

          • Circularfile00

            Post the PSD without a caption and let the rest of us come up with captions and put them in the comment section. I would prefer reading a long list of captions over sifting through the whining and complaining to find the few comments that are actually about the PSD.

          • Veryobvious

            Feel free to write your own caption here any time you like. What’s keeping you?

          • Circularfile00

            Appropriate name you have there, Veryobvious. It is true, no one ever stopped me from writing a caption and posting it here. My point wasn’t that I wanted to write captions or that I thought I could do a better job. My goal was, if there was no caption, all the people that only comment to complain about the caption, would end up writing captions instead of whining and complaining. Or maybe they would just commenting.

          • Circularfile00

            I meant — “Or maybe they would just stop commenting” – only four letters, but it makes a lot of difference.

          • cessout

            Hmm. Cosmo didn’t choke us with ads or pointless links to get a revenue out of this so he could be able to do his thing, which included the emails, the uploading and the captions. You see, a single man did it all, just for the love of it. To blame it on the money just confirms what I thought since the first comment I left to you (do you remember it?) : Your main goal for this site is to milk it out as much as possible, at the cost of quality and funniness.

        • RichardBaseheart

          Welcome to the big real world.

      • Malad

        Yeah, I was wondering why this caption was actually funny. This excuse is really, really bad. I really don’t know why you keep doing this, since you clearly lack the competence required.

        • Ohsowitty

          Does your competence allow you to grab your daddy’s gun and put a hole through your head? No? Pity, you might’ve done the world a favor for a change, since you don’t seem able to achieve anything in the real world…

          • 40envelopes

            The very defenders of this blog and its authors resorting to telling people to kill themselves? Is this somehow adding meaning to your life?

            Why aren’t these comments that are essentially cyber bullying removed and authors banned??

    • BenD

      Not like Cosmo invented this string of speech either…

    • Commie

      Bloody hell it’s like Cosmo was Jesus Christ or something.

    • Wakajawaka

      It’s not a ripoff, it’s a homage.

  • greennotGreen

    Or maybe the new hosts ripped off Cosmo to see if the bitcherati would still complain about the caption. If you don’t like the site, just don’t come back!

  • Jade

    From what I can tell, they didn’t try to shorten her hand, they had just done some really, really bad retouching (possibly to make the hand looked “smoother”) and they removed all creases and shadows from her hand, messing with the perspective. It looks like, and from what I’m getting out of the title, she’s blowing a kiss.

    While it is most definitely a PSD (which is sad, because it would have been a nice-looking cover otherwise), it’s not for the reasons you’re giving.

    • Bargonzo

      Um, no. You can’t make any hand look like this with any perspective shortening in this part of the universe. Look at the finger-to-hand length ratio. The middle finger should have about the same length as the distance between its base and the wrist. Look at your own hand. (OK, if you have got a VERY SPECIAL hand, forget mx suggestion…)

      • Jade

        Haha, what are you talking about? Do you know what foreshortening is? “The middle finger should have about the same length as the distance between its base and the wrist.” Yeah, if her hand wasn’t at an angle, that would apply. If you just do a Google Image search for “blowing a kiss,” you see examples of this everywhere. Like I said, they had removed all shading and creases from her hand, removing any definition and perspective. Also, if you look at the tips of her fingers and her unretouched thumb, the palm of her hand is mostly exposed to the light, while the back of her hand is not.

        Plus, if she /isn’t/ doing what I am suggesting (despite it making sense, considering the title of the book), then what is she doing? Her arm clearly wasn’t photoshopped in and it’s at an outward angle, so it’s obviously not meant to be touching her neck. So.. in the original photo, is her hand just pointlessly raised? Is she doing some choreography? Lol seriously.

        I don’t know why you’re arguing this in any case. After all, I agreed that it was a PSD, I just don’t agree with the staff’s reasoning.

        (For the record, hands come in all sizes. Some people have shorter and longer fingers than others. For example, I have long palms but my fingers are not particularly long; my middle doesn’t reach the base of the wrist as you are saying it should. I have a friend who has very long fingers but short palms. Human beings are not made from cookie cutters.)

  • Mat

    This may be a PSD, but the original looks like she was blowing on somebody’s upside-down foot, so I can see why the AD asked for some retouching.

  • John

    No matter how hard I try, my brain cannot see the original photo corresponding even remotely to a human hand. It looks like some tragic science experiment involving recombinant DNA of humans and pigs gone wrong. The original image is what a trotter/hand hybrid would look like.

    Both the original and the retouched will be featured in a scary dream tonight, I am sure.

  • VBW

    In the original image, it looks more like a foot.

  • anonymous


    • Keshaxe

      i saw the blog – and it went offline as I was viewing it. weird!

  • Parkat

    Looks like plastic hand! ROFL

  • another_one

    I saw the book cover yesterday in a bookstore over here in Germany. Actually it somehow even looks worse, than here…