42 Comments

Beth Stern: Leave Photoshop Alone Howard

Posted on 5 December by Vernon

With each turn of the calendar page, animal lovers are welcomed by beautiful and colorful images of Beth Stern and many adoptable and mutated animals, photographed in a variety of unique settings by Howard Stern.

I think I hear screams and the word “recall”.

Howard Stern

Thanks to the dozens of readers that sent this in. You can see more of calender on the Shabooty site.

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  • Jinx

    The amount of white background leftover around both models is astonishing. I didn’t know there was a way to cut out images THAT bad!

    • Marcy

      Maybe he was tryimg to make them look like they glow?

      • Jinx

        Don’t think so, it’s fuzzy and grainy…

      • Waldobaby

        The glow is handy for filling in those pesky shadows without having an expensive crew hovering around with reflectors.

  • Flick1121

    She looks like Jessica Simpson to me..

  • Silvyah

    “What, you want that head on that body? Yeah I think I can do that….” :’)

  • Spillage!

    It appears to me, that someone has taken a flat photograph, (depth wise)… and attempted to blur the back and foreground, to make it look more professional, but used the blurring tool, rather than making a mask layer. On second thoughts, they HAVE used layers, but like a bloody 1950s robot, cut it willy-nilly! The dog has “elephanting” of the front paws! HAHAHA! What were they thinking with the poor dog’s paws?

  • Synthprax

    Whatever with the dog. “I hate drawing paws!”

  • Anomalous

    Is she levitating too?

  • Old Lefty

    That is the one percent’s idea of public service.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_L5DQFVHHBFI4PF2NWAP3RBJAHA kleenex

    From the same website….

    http://www.shabooty.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/sssss.jpg
    Her leg in the back is in the wrong spot, right????

    • Synthprax

      Left.

  • Bev

    What?  MY dog has blurry sand-colored paws – doesn’t everyone’s?!

  • RobertABooey

    Oof, as a Stern fan I was really hoping PD wouldn’t find out about this…

  • Darius J

    Looks like he puts about as much effort and pride into his photography and photoshopping as he does his part time job, THSS, these days.

  • cadet happy
    • Windspear

      OMG, the first photo looks like she’s gonna wolf them down in one bite with that Joker Smile. What’s so bad about the backgrounds that they have to filter them?

      • lostwallet

        Nothing. The “professional photographer” who is teaching him must be a joke (or it’s Ralph). He’s been addicted to the blur filter since day one — when he sound competent enough to create a short-focus in camera. Poor Howard.  

    • Synthprax

      OK. No! Whodahell was the photographer?! There are so many things wrong with so many pictures, that they need to use this in design/photography school as “Things To Never Do”.
      Dayum!
      Let’s make her look like she has one leg; a thing on her head; a pooch with fracked-up paws, and how a bout a cross-eyed cat to make you go “awwww”. Let me set the airbrush on blast, the back light on fry so people will know at least I tried. Specular blow-outs, awkward angles and dodgy dodging; yeah. That’ll make them gouge their eyes out.

  • Power460

    What is up with under her bent knee and dress (don’t say nacho)? How did absolute black occur?

  • MuttStern Fan

    Her face looks like 1960′s era paited photographs, like my Mom’s senior class picture fro 1965, if you know what I mean. She’s actually very pretty, dont understand why Howard had to mess with her…but thats the least of Howards problems here. Every picture has at least one PS disaster!! Every animal in every photo looks placed in, like she was sitting there with alone, then later Howard edited in the pet he wanted. My favorite is the dog with the double exposer pearl necklace!!  To top it off, this was supposed to be for charity.

  • bucket_buddy

    this whole calendar is filled with photoshopping disasters…go to stern fan network for a comprehensive breakdown of the emperor’s work…

  • Michael

    Hope you’re happy putting on the shittiest show ever, Howard. I’ve been a fan for over a decade, followed you to SIRIUS, and enjoyed every show up until 2010. The fact that your head has grown to heights that I’m surprised it fits your frail body is surprising. And your listeners consist of Bostonian hicks, mullet-head stalkers, simple-minded housewives, and every retard with the name “Eric”, sans Eric the Midget. Don’t be surprised if this blows up in your face.

  • HowardStern

    Whats happening here, Robin?
    I was doodling.

  • Poops

    howard did all the PSing as a joke to see if anyone would notice (at least i hope he did)….or it could be a fantasy calendar populated by whimsical animals which don’t exist in reality.

    that must be the explanation.

  • HowardStern

    Fact of the matter is that this calender is so amazing I bought 1,000 of them to give to my staff as a Christmas bonus.
     

  • Elizabeth O’Stern

    As I was telling a polo-playing friend while we were showering the other day,  when it comes to photoshop, Howard is a wizzard.   Just wish he could make himself disappear without leaving any of those telltale sloppy crops behind.

  • HowardStern

    My next calender will involve Ralph,Sam Simon, Chewbacca, a werewolf, and a gerbil. We have secured a location. The rest-stop bathroom  on the L.I.E at exit 72

  • Beth Stern

    Howard did the best he could photoshopping the horse look off my face. You people are all SFN haters.
    sternfansnetwork.com is better then Mutt’s gay censored fag site.

    • DocIvan

      Tread lightly!
      (Says the 46 year old guy in sleeveless shirt with flabby arms)

    • Elliottoffenxyz

      Not sure but I think Howard might have photoshopped a few dogs into this picture

  • Tim Sabien

    This Calender is a work in progress. It was created by man, and can be solved by man.

    • Cenk

      Hey how about the shit show?

  • Jackie

    http://mediacdn.disqus.com/1323114351/uploads/mediaembed/images/173/7877/cached75.jpg

    In this picture Beth Stern was standing on the surface of the sun.

  • Threesisters

    A whole year’s supply of horrific pictures.  Happy holidays!

  • Lolly

    lest anyone think that this isn’t spectacular

  • Eric from Hoboken

    Howard, that calender was so awesome I drove off the road. By the way, love what you are doing with Howard TV. I jerked off to that random porn star interviewer before I went to sleep, just like you Howard!

  • CragAntler

    Is that supposed to be a tail, or is that dog sporting wood? I think the latter because I know I would be with her arms around me like that!

    • Neigh

      Horse lover?

  • lostwallet

    baba-clooey.

  • lostwallet

    I feel a lot sadness in that background…

  • Jugstopper

    Her lips and teeth scare the shit out of me.  From the looks on the animals faces, I am not the only one.