Having lived most of my life near a beach, I suppose I cannot relate to the obstacles that those who live far inland face every day when they decide to compose media which takes place at the ocean. Whereas I would simply hire a gorgeous bikini model and then cart her down to the shore, dig a 3-foot hole in the sand, bury her, and start shooting, art directors who live in, say, Irkutsk, Russia, cannot afford that sort of travel and time expense, and are therefore forced to use software like Photoshop in an attempt to simulate their erotic visions of tropical seaside goodness. Still, that does not explain why these same art directors insist on hiring Gyorgi the village idiot to be their graphic artist. I’m guessing it might have something to do with there not yet being in existence a decent translation of the Quickstart Guide from English to Cyrillic. Oh, well.
Cerritos Tequilaus: All Washed Up
Stumpy the Mermaid was quite disappointed to find that her disability merely translated into a human one after crawling out of the sea.