Monthly Archives: January 2012

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Desigual: Twin Tragedy

Posted on 11 January by Vernon
Not a PSD.  This is actually a production still from the upcoming Star Trek sequel, working title:  Androids of Bikini Beach.  As you can see, several ‘Oscars’ and ‘Alices’ are visible, and each wears an identifying amulet with name and series number.  Fun cameo appearance by Amanda Seyfried, as well!

The Clone Stamp is one of my favorite tools.  And when combined with Color Erase and some simple alterations to hair, makeup, wardrobe, and posing, it’s not difficult to make five or six models look like a crowd of fifty.  However, let this disaster be a lesson to all about the inherent dangers of drinking and Photoshopping.  More often than not, sloppy use of this tool will slip through the cracks of the review phase and written off to double vision caused by one too many CranBAMS.

Thanks Fabien. The original was found on the DocNews website. You can check out our red image gallery if you can’t see the marked up version.

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Cote Maison: Digital Dyslexia

Posted on 10 January by Vernon
After the government closed down the secret program which trained chimpanzees to fly military missions, Dr. Michel Coupe was tasked with finding new and profitable ways to exploit the enhanced intelligence of his ‘uber-monkeys.’

Even Forrest Gump could have figured out how this was supposed to look by simply writing ’2012′ on a sheet of paper and holding it against a mirror!  How is it that someone this incompetent at Photoshop can land a decent-paying job in France, yet I’m forced to write sarcastic captions ridiculing that very same incompetence for practically nothing?!  It’s a mad house!  A MAD HOUSE!!  Soylent Green is people!  Climb, baby, climb!

Sorry.  I guess I just miss Chuck Heston today.  Finding my happy place now…

Thanks Manon! Don’t forget to join us on Google Plus.

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Tchibo: Models Wanted. No Flatties.

Posted on 9 January by Vernon
Look.  When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time at the roller rink doing the Hokey Pokey.  I know me some Hokey Pokey, and trust me, this is not the Hokey Pokey.  This is not what it’s all about!

When applying for a position as a graphics artist, it’s important to highlight those skills at which one is most proficient.  Otto’s resume featured his previous position at a catalog publisher, where he worked primarily with text, before moving on to become an apprentice animator for TV’s South Park, where he somehow got it burned into his brain that the First Commandment of Graphics is: Thou Shalt Apply Drop Shadow to All Layers.

Beyond that, Otto is just an average guy who puts his pants on one leg at a… er… oh, my.

Thanks Anna. You can see the original on the Tchibo site.

We just recently joined Google Plus and would love to connect with as many of you as possible.

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La Redoute: The Naked Truth

Posted on 7 January by Vernon
I don’t think the French will be looking to ban Photoshop any time soon.

Normally we wouldn’t post this to the site given that we wouldn’t class this as a Photoshop Disaster but we did receive this a ton and we did find it very funny.

Thanks to everyone who sent this in. The original has been taken down but you can read a little more about it here.

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Cerritos Tequilaus: All Washed Up

Posted on 6 January by Vernon
Stumpy the Mermaid was quite disappointed to find that her disability merely translated into a human one after crawling out of the sea.

Having lived most of my life near a beach, I suppose I cannot relate to the obstacles that those who live far inland face every day when they decide to compose media which takes place at the ocean.  Whereas I would simply hire a gorgeous bikini model and then cart her down to the shore, dig a 3-foot hole in the sand, bury her, and start shooting, art directors who live in, say, Irkutsk, Russia, cannot afford that sort of travel and time expense, and are therefore forced to use software like Photoshop in an attempt to simulate their erotic visions of tropical seaside goodness.  Still, that does not explain why these same art directors insist on hiring Gyorgi the village idiot to be their graphic artist.  I’m guessing it might have something to do with there not yet being in existence a decent translation of the Quickstart Guide from English to Cyrillic.  Oh, well.

Thanks Dan. You can see the original on the Cerritos Tequilaus site. You can check out our red circled image in our gallery to see the marked up version.

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Shop Divine: Ribs On The Side

Posted on 5 January by Vernon
Even Mother Nature recognizes that certain women are simply too beautiful to be expected to get by with only two breasts.

Obviously, this is supposed to be the protruding bottom of the girl’s ribcage, but it looks way too far over to her left to give a natural appearance, causing viewers to speculate over all manner of explanations ranging from uncontrolled tumor to early signs of possession by Manitou.  The inside curve alone would place her sternum closer to her armpit than the center of her chest.  But she’s gorgeous, so we men couldn’t care less.  Whatever she’s selling, I’m buying!

Thanks Ryan. You can see the original on the Shop Divine site. You can check out our marked up red circled image if the you can’t see the PSD.

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89 Centre: Saddle Baggage

Posted on 4 January by Vernon
Zorklo’s chosen cover for his Earth assignment as a graphics artist was a challenge indeed, especially considering his home planet lacked any visible light whatsoever.

So much disaster; so little time!  I so loved how the thighs of this beautiful woman have been given extra pouches of fat by the GA, that I almost didn’t notice the even-worse application of ‘boxy’ shadows beneath her right calf, right arm, and that delightful sweep of inky goodness beneath her chin I can only liken to something once sported by Rameses IV.

Big thanks to Bo. The original was an advertisement for a fitness center called fitnessworld.

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Top 10 Photoshop Disasters of 2011

Posted on 1 January by Vernon

Time to pause and look back at some of the worst disasters of the year that had celebrities losing limbs, models who were more mutant like and animals that often ended up feeling the full wrath of the art department.

Thanks everyone for your submissions over the last year and we wish everyone a Happy New Year!

1. Victoria’s Secret: With or Without it?

Photoshop Disaster

One arm is definitely better than none!

2. Totsy Baltex: Somebody Stop The Screaming

Photoshop disaster

They say the best way for women to fend off attackers is with her elbows, I don’t think this model has anything to ever worry about.

3. Beachmall: Full Face Transplant

Photoshop Disaster

The models for Beachmall are so stunningly beautiful that they have watermarked the images (repeatedly) so that no-one will steal them.

4. Jennifer Aniston: Anistorted Yogalosophy

Photoshop Disaster

Not a PSD.  Jennifer has been cast in the next X-Men film as “Spanx Doll,” an aging-but-still-attractive mutant with the inherent ability to move excess fat tissue to any other part of her body at will.

5. Industry Week: Smiling is my favorite exercise

Photoshop Disaster

This reminds me of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when Violet blows up into a giant blueberry after consuming an experimental piece of chewing gum.

6. Pop Up Pet Crates: Doggone!

Photoshop Disasters

A half pet is better than no pet at all… no wait!

7. Keith Urban: Loving Parts of You

Photoshop Disasters

Don’t go, don’t go
Just leave your arm behind
For me to snuggle
While I’m without you
And I will never surrender – your arm…

8. Two and a Half Men: Gone But Not Forgotten

Photoshop Disaster

Charlie has not gone – that’s him drunk on the floor pointing up at his replacement…

9. HTC Windows Phone: Business Casualty

Photoshop Disaster

Hey, Princess, check this out – watch what happens to Daddy’s hand when I stick my arm outside the airlock!

10. Golden Acrylics: Shopping Crimes

Photoshop Disaster

Stock image – $2.50
PS “artist” – $10.00
Branding impression of a lifetime – Priceless!

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