John Kerwin: Unreal Smoothie

There are two sure-fire methods of distinguishing between the Pod People and humans.  The first is that they are simply too perfect; no moles, freckles, birthmarks or body hair whatsoever.  And the second tell?  Bad Canadian haircuts.

It just occurred to me that this model might have copious amounts of tattoo ink on his arms, in which case the overt use of the air brush tool was unavoidable.  It then occurred to me that there are likely plenty of non-tattooed models it might have been more wise to hire for this shoot.  And now it occurs to me that if this guy can get paid to be a model, then why am I not writing paid speeches for Mitt Romney?!

Thanks Micheal. You can see the original on the IMDB site

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  • http://snowrollersden.blogspot.com Nicewriter

    Arm Hair Theatre?

  • Creeped Out

    And yet it looks like creases from the back of that chair on his elbows. Wow, this is one creepy image. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_L5DQFVHHBFI4PF2NWAP3RBJAHA kleenex

    WHAT?!?!?!?! None of you posters here wear as much makeup as he does???

  • steinway1701

    I actually know who this is. His name is John Kerwin and he is as fake in real life as he is in this photo. He fancies himself a comedian and late night talk show host with a disastrous (self produced show on local public access television in Los Angeles). He does, in fact shave his arm hair and wear a ton of makeup. His hair line is receding, and his greatest fear is getting older. The worst part of this picture is that it’s almost 10 years old, and he still uses it as his primary headshot. If you really want to get the sad, sad reality behind this Photoshop disaster, search “the John Kerwin Show” on YouTube. It is a low budget nightmare the world is not prepared for…made worse by the fact that this guy takes his photo and show very seriously.

    • Bev

      This guy is obsessed with his appearance, yet he chose THAT haircut?  :-p

      • Waldobaby

         He was young!

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001614415807 Evangeline Claire

       Why do you care if he doesn’t like being hairy? I have a male friend who actually is naturally not so hairy in the arms or legs, and doesn’t like body hair (vellus is fine though). I don’t think it should matter how he covers his face either, I wouldn’t waste any  negative emotion or criticism on it (Nobody complaining of “fakes” and “phonies” is ever 100% neutral emotionally saying it… if they were they wouldn’t say it, the dislike of them comes with negative emotion). I myself do actually fear getting old. (I’m young tho atm… lol. I wouldn’t want to put on a bunch of chemicals all the time though, because that will damage my skin. I’d do a lot of health things… I’d be such a health nut. But it’s the *SAME THING*, just a different method.) I don’t understand why that fear would bother anyone. What really surprises me is people finding older people unattractive and then complaining about people’s fears looking like them. You should accept any appearance coming from old age to complain about that. 

  • Stella

    Well, at least they left some wrinkles around the eyes, whihc makes it an improvement over any published photo of Paula Deen.

  • Bev

    He looks like he’s made out of rubber and silicone, like some kind of freakish Real Doll that the world never asked for.

  • Cropper

    He’s a smoothy