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Vizu: She’s Off Her Marbles

Posted on 5 June by Vernon
Woooo! Cross my palm with silver and gaze into my crystal ball! Mmmmmm!… I can see the past! Ohhhhh! I see a photograph… being taken in front of a white backdrop…. in a studio… I see someone Photoshopping blue sky and little clouds behind me!…. Woooo!

Original is here. Thanks to Matt Nicolaysen!

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Maxim Mexico: Another Victory For Healthy Role Models Everywhere

Posted on 4 June by Vernon
By renormalizing the model’s waistline, Maxim Mexico takes a bold socio-political stance in the ongoing battle of the politics of representation, clearly referencing the oppressive reification of male-gaze heteronormative modes of synthesis in a semiotic blancmange of post-structural teakettle barbecue hatstand fishmonger.

Thanks to Eikona!

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Givenchy: Polio Chic!

Posted on 3 June by Vernon
Givenchy, Like Dior, belongs to LVMH. It’s signature style is Ricardo Tisci’s sickly waif look, which now extends to severely wasted limbs. Or possibly wasted retouchers, could be either.

Still, this image is buried deep in Givenchy.com’s profoundly annoying Flash site, not on the front page, right? Right? Oh, really? Oh.

Props to Haley Saner! Original is here.

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Shy Guy: Go Away Or I Shall Taunt You Some More

Posted on 1 June by Vernon
Mafia Parano is the French title of Gun Shy. As with all American products in France it is of paramount importance that entirely Gallic artwork replaces the Anglo Saxon dreck that everyone else gets.

So the French get a stunningly obvious Liam Neeson head transplant that is so obvious they include the original picture on the back cover. Oh, and in the French version Sandra Bullock is a guy.

Singes dans les arbres to Sebastien Lemmens!

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Ouch: Look Mom No Legs!

Posted on 31 May by Vernon
Unfortunately the text means “your purchase could be free”, when it could have been “half off” or “our prices are freakish” or “if we cut any more off we’d endanger major organs.”

Joining me on the road to hell: Guillermo Espertino!

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Daily Fail: What Is Your Major Malfunction?

Posted on 30 May by Vernon
The Daily Mail is essentially the UK equivalent of Fox News and Michelle Malkin. It features numerous pieces complaining about immigration, foreigners, Europe, how everything is hopelessly awful, etc.

If it had any good old British blood of steel in its newsprint-veins of justice it would do something about the terrible Photoshopping that is undermining that great nations sense of pride in its media. After all, didn’t Churchill once say (continued on page 97).

Thanks to everyone who sent this in! Hastily (and blurrily) fixed version is here.

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