Daily Fail: People Who Live In Glass Houses


In another scandal to rock the world outside of the Daily Mail, indignation about inept Photoshoping has spilled over into an ugly battle between [please fill in details, I have no idea what this is about].

In a torrent of cliches, Photoshop has become a cruel bagel of opportunity for editors who all too frequently want to have their cake and not face the consequences. Albatross.

“I have no clue how Photoshop works but I use it anyway” said Daily Fail graphic designer Nigel Bottomly, who asked not to be named for fear of retribution.

Thanks to Alexandra, original is here.

Oi.com: Army Girl

Oi.com PSD
Most Photoshoppers have strategies to draw attention away from problem areas. For example, if I was retouching this I would have added huge flames to the mom’s hair, so as to distract attention from her daughter’s bizarre and unfeasibly long arms.

Thanks to Marcos! Original is here (possibly)!

PhotoHouse USA: Chapectomy

PhotoHouse USA PSD
In a breathless deconstruction of the trite family self-portrait, USA PhotoHouse deftly excises the phallocentric father figure, leaving a single hand to signify – with profound semiotic irony – the hidden hand of capitalism. The camera is bereft of any screen or viewfinder in a de facto refutation of the omnipresent panopticon of male gaze, while the child points aimlessly out of the savaged image in a cathartic denunciation of the testosterone-poisoned concept of understanding directions. Marvellous.

Thanks to L!

Jimmy Bond: Artistic License To Kill

Jimmy Bond PSD
Mosht people would shay that Timothy Dalton wash never a clashic Bond. Better perhapsh than Lazshenby, but I have to shay he never desherved thish. It looksh ash though he’sh just shat on shomething shticky or shomething. And look at hish bird! She’sh got no bloody legsh!

Thanksh to JG! Original ish here!

Whitney: I Don’t Know Her So Well

Whitney PSD
In the heartbreaking competition to be the saddest aspect of this whole thing, the imbecilic idea that female vocalists should always look like supermodels slightly edges out the profoundly tragic likelihood that Whitney believes this is a plausible representation of herself. In third place: the body’s real owner probably has this in her portfolio.

Edit: Yes, it’s a hoax.

Thanks to Jake! More discussion here.

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